Saturday, January 1, 2011

Trust....Learned and Earned

Learned and Earned

By Cheryl Grace

“The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be- and when they're not, we cry.”—Unknown

Trust is the steering mechanism to navigate your life journey. The components of trust include trusting yourself by believing that you have the ability to handle any situation life throws at you. It comes from an inner knowing that you always learn from mistakes and are capable of gracefully moving on to a better way of doing things. Trust often requires you to follow your intuitive prompts, valuing your instinct, and perhaps going in a direction that’s out of your immediate comfort zone.

Trust also consists of trusting others by observing and evaluating another’s words and actions and their commitment to keeping promises. Instead of immediately trusting someone unconditionally, trust is earned over time. This requires having empathy and compassion with others by accepting that there are many sides to every story and no one is perfect.

An important element of trust is having faith in a joyous future in spite of facing uncertainty. Rely on the notion that generally people are good-hearted and life is full of abundance. All decisions made in the course of a day have a residual impact on how confident we feel; that includes our relationship choices and preferences, the way we communicate and interact with others, and the degree of integrity, modesty, and compassion we embody. Everything around us, and everyone with whom we come in contact must be a contributing, consistent, and reliable source of uplifting energy. In this way, we’re always operating at peak performance and don’t have to rely on a perfect night’s sleep to restore our energy levels to 100% in order to function or improve our mood.

As children we learned to do what we were told even if our natural instincts told us otherwise. Therefore, as adults, we must take responsibility to learn trust skills and not rely on our childhood experiences to teach us. While the virtue of trust is a feeling, it is also a conscious choice. Over time, people will reveal their true nature. Don’t succumb to feeling that your partner is looking for better because you’re not good enough. Your partner might very well be trustworthy and constant doubt undermines a relationship.

Everyone is responsible for his or her own trust competency. Build your trustworthiness by taking responsibility for everything that happens in your life. Recognize a destructive pattern if you overact to a situation and undermine your self worth, or if you complain to others about another person’s behavior without first having an open and honest dialog with that person. If you can’t accept your own imperfections, you can’t expect others to do so.

True friends do not reject you when your behavior is less than stellar. A true romantic partnership is grounded in mutual respect and admiration so being able having an honest conversation without fear of disapproval or rejection is the key to building increased trust and understanding. Avoid teasing or sarcasm when trying to convey what is bothering you. Resist leaving hints of behavior you want changed rather than talking opening about it.

When you trust others, you no longer have the need to control their every move. Hold on to the courage to speak the truth without concern of dire consequences and believe in your immeasurable potential to envision a happy and bright future.

Suggested reading material:

The Speed of Trust–The One Thing That Changed Everything by Steven Covey with Rebecca R. Merrill
The Courage to Trust-A guide to Building Deep and Lasting Relationships by Cynthia L. Wall, LCSW

Cheryl Grace is a professional Feng Shui expert, nationally certified interior refiner, and winner of the 2008-2009-2010 Natural Choice Award for Favorite Feng Shui Practitioner. For a consultation for your home or business or to contact Cheryl, e-mail or call 941-400-3816. Visit to shop for contemporary Feng Shui décor and enhancements, or to find a list of Feng Shui seminars taught by Cheryl. For daily Feng Shui tips, follow Cheryl on Twitter and her Blog at ;;

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